Hard Conversations are Hard.

What comes up for you as you reflect on this day in 2001? 

I was sitting on Northrup Plaza with my friend Tiffany, who asked, “Have you heard what happened?” Mo News shared this week that about one-third of Americans were not yet born during 9/11, so instead, they learn about it in school. 

Separately, this week I've been thinking a lot about conflict, in light of several sessions that we've recently done with client teams on this topic, and a couple of tricky conversations of my own. 

The truth I've been sitting with is: hard conversations are, indeed, hard. 

This sounds painfully obvious (I know), but the truth is that even with all of the skills and tools and frameworks and mindfulness and presence and grounding in the world, we cannot guarantee that a tricky conversation is going to go well. 

A conversation involves more than one person, along with a million other factors: what is happening in each person's life, the environment, timing, mood, mental and emotional capacity, and everything else each person brings into the room.

While we can try to maximize our odds of success (for example, being mindful about timing and setting), we simply can't solve for all of these factors, or all of the things that we are each carrying in our metaphorical (or literal) backpacks. 

While preparation can influence the conversation, it cannot guarantee the conversation.

And on our end, we can be responsible for how we show up without assuming responsibility for the entire outcome.

This is all, of course, easier said than done.

A few things I'm sitting with this week.

What comes up for you?

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