The Power of a Gentle Approach

Last week, I was sitting in the passenger seat of one of my best friends' cars. 

It seemed like the red light was taking a long time to turn green, but it didn't really matter; we were deep in conversation and excited that the heated seats were starting to kick in. 

As we continued to wait at the red light (now, for an unusually long time), a car rolled up next to us. A dark haired guy rolled down his window. We rolled down ours, as well, which took a moment due to the ice that had formed around the edges. 

With a huge disarming smile, he said, “You need to pull up further. You're not hitting the sensor. That's why the light hasn't turned green.” 

We both laughed and found this hilarious, because without this helpful tip, we would have likely been sitting there for another ten minutes (maybe longer?), with no awareness that we weren't hitting the sensor. 

He laughed too, flashed one more smile, rolled up his window, and then casually reversed his car back to his previous place in line behind us at the stoplight. 

There are so many scenarios in which the tactics would have involved the driver laying on the horn, yelling out the car window, or perhaps both.

But his approach was so gentle, kind, and charming. 

It was a lovely reminder of what I write about in Expansive Impact:

"To be compassionate is to be like water. It can be soft, gentle, and flowing. And, water can be the strongest force." 

It also reminds me of the classic saying that we “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

Very rarely is there a downside to acting with kindness. 

My friend immediately inched the car up closer to the crosswalk and it did, indeed, almost immediately turn green. 

Reflections

• What could a gentler approach look like?

• What could it look like to “catch more flies with honey than vinegar" for the situation at hand?